Potholes on Memory Lane
by Althea K.

Notes: This story was for the 2003 Poster Contest. It tells the story behind the winning poster by Kun

"I can *not* be*lieve* you talked me into this..."
"Oh, stop complaining. At least your outfit's cool..."
"I like yours. It's all shiny."
"You wouldn't like it if you had to wear it, I promise you. It's all hard and... revealing..."
"Careful, your cape is dragging on the ground."
"Dammit, not again! Why couldn't they have cut the damn thing shorter??"
"Because long capes are cool."
"Very... vampire chic."
"*snort* Yeah.. So I look like some.. some... cyborg vampire prostitute, or something. Stop laughing! It's embarrassing.."
"Yeah, well, you need to be embarrassed every now and then. Keeps your feet on the ground. Besides, mine's not the greatest, either... These things are *killing* my hands."
"They look really cool, though.."
"But they're all wedged between my fingers and stuff... How the hell am I supposed to use these things, anyway??"
"You're not supposed to use them. They're *plastic*. Besides, I don't think it would be much appreciated if you started killing all the guests."
"Awwww, why not?"
"Because the press'll be there, and you know what they're like. They'll make a big deal out of anything."
"Oh, shut up."
"Yeah, really.. You're the only one without plastic being jammed into every orifice."
"Euu, Yuri, you really didn't have to put it that way."
"Have *you* ever had a plastic wedgie!?"
"*snort* Ohgod.. Uhm, no. But I thought that part was spandex..."
"The plastic is still chafing me *everywhere*."
"Is there plastic in spandex?"
"I don't know. But if you don't wipe that goddamned smirk off your face, I'm going to find some way to use these little plas--- Oh, dammit, there they go again! These things are so awkward.. Stop laughing! It's not my fault I can't get a proper grip on them! They're.. defective, or something."
"Sure, sure."
"Oh, stop being so smug about everything. So you've got the best outfit. So you're not getting plastic sores."
"So you've got swords."
"Well, Yuriko's got those big guns..."
"Shut up, Yuri. Where are those things, anyway?"
"They got too heavy. I gave them to Kishi-san to hold onto until we have to leave."
"I can't believe you got her to dress up, too... How much whiskey did you put in her coffee to pull *that* one off?"
"Never underestimate my powers of persuasion."
"You blackmailed her, didn't you."
"Sort of. Her outfit's not all that bad, anyway; she won't have plastic scars when she's---"
"Woah, woah, wait. 'Sort of'?"
"Do the words 'High School Yearbook' mean anything to you?"
"Oh, my GOD! You didn't!"
"And she let you live!?"
"She's probably gunning for me right now."
"I'll bet.."
"Goddess, this stuff itches... What the hell *is* this stuff??"
"I don't know... Some sort of rubber?"
"It *really* itches. How long is this thing going to be, anyway?"
"I don't know... Kishi-san didn't say. But she's probably either going to make us stay there as long as she possibly can to prolong our humiliation or else she's going to try to slip out as quickly as she can so she can get changed and then kill me."
"Ah! Watch where you're pointing those things!"
"Sorry. I'm not used to handling swords. Yuri, stop laughing!!"
"Are you asking me to help you handle your swords?"
"Oh, you're both acting like three-year-olds."
"I've never met anyone with two swords before!"
"Knock it off."
"How about you, Yuri? Have you ever met anyone with two swords before?"
"I don't know; I've never checked."
"Oh, grow up, you two."
"Don't get mad at us just because you don't know how to handle your own swords. Ah! Ah! Stop poking!"
"Ah!! *Ow*, those things are *sharp*!"
"Oww.. Gee, I guess you're better at handling swords than we thought! Yuri, this might be something you should be concern--- Ow!!!"
"You're just jealous because I have a bigger pointy thing than you do."
"*snerk* Pointy thing? Is that what you're ca--- ow!"
"Ahem.. If you young ladies could just stop with the bathroom humour for a minute..."
"Ah, Kishi-san! I, uh, didn't see-- Midori, stop poking me-- see you there."
"Yes, well. You know how I hate to interrupt your childish fun, but it's almost time for us to go, and it seems that now would be a good time to remind you all that the outfits you're all wearing---"
"Hey, where's yours?"
"---are only yours for the day, and then will have to be returned--"
"Thank the goddess.."
"---and that all damage incurred to said rented property will have to be paid for out of your own pockets."
"Why aren't you wearing your costume, Kishi-san?"
"*sigh* I, wisely, decided *not* to wear my costume while waiting for our transportation. I'll be changing in the bathroom."
"Ah, that's smart... Wish I'd thought of that. Then I'd only just be changing now instead of waiting to take it off so I can put ointment on my plastic burns."
"Is that the only thing you'll be needing ointment f--- ow! Hey, you heard what Kishi- san said! If you break those swords, *you* pay for it."
"It's a small price to pay."
"Actually, knowing the prices of this sort of---"
"And don't forget these."
"Oh, uh, thanks, Kishi-san."
"Nice guns, Yuriko."
"Wait, was that another double-entendre?"
"Uhhhh... Sure."
"Oh, in that case.. No hitting on my lover."
"Hrmph... So much plastic..."
"Well, at least it's not metal."
"And at least it's the only plastic in your body. Isn't it?"
"Hah, hah. It's not 'in' my body, anyway."
"Oh, it isn't? What about that plastic wedgie, then?"
"Eu, can we not talk about this?"
"Oh, but what's the fun if it's not perverted?"
"I agree with Midori... Hey, you know what all this reminds me of?"
"I'm not sure I want to know about this."
"I don't even want to know what you're thinking now, Mari. But *I* was thinking of Halloween."
"Oh, *Goddess*! It's been so long since I've even thought about that..."
"What a nightmare, hunh?"
"Yeah... Hmmm, I wonder what you'd be going as, Yuri... A female Robocop? The unholy lovechild of Catwoman and a Transformer?"
"Don't forget Dracula. Or did one of the Transformers have a cape?"
"I don't know... Hehehhey, Yuri, you remember the last time we went trick-or-treating together?"
"Hey, Midori? Could I borrow one of your swords?"
"Oooooooooh, this must be good. What was she?"
"Go on, take a guess."
"Mari, I absolutely forbid you to tell this story!"
"Oh, you're no fun! You need to have a better sense of humour about these things!"
"C'mon, Yuri, what were you! I'm dying to know!"
"You'll really be dying in a moment if you keep pushing this."
"C'mon. Barbie? *Ken*??"
"Shut up, Mari! I was a *child*! It was a... a youthful indiscretion!!"
"Oh, please, like anyone's gonna buy that one. Besides, it was only a fe---mmmph!!"
"Were you Sailor Moon? You were Sailor Moon, weren't you."
"Mph--- Ooooh, close! But worse."
"Much worse."
"I guess it couldn't have been Sailor Uranus, then..."
"No; that'd've made a lot more sense, though. Hey, Yuri, this year why don't y---"
"I'm never trick-or-treating again. Not after that.. that one time."
"Oh, *please* tell me!"
"Never. It was just a stupid.. I don't know what the hell got into me."
"This'd better be good, the way you're building it up. Were you a cheerleader?"
"Ooh, that's a good one. But, no. You were on the right track before."
"Alright, alright, I'll tell you just so you'll stop picturing me in these horrible outfits!"
"At least we hadn't gotten up to Britne---"
"Shut up! I was Miaka, okay?"
"You.......... Hunh?"
"AHAHAHAHAAHAHHAH!!!!! And it was *wonderful*, too!"
"But, wouldn't..."
"I don't know why, either. Why did I do that, Mari?"
"Oh, don't worry. Free will wasn't at all involved. I bet you that you couldn't survive the night as Miaka."
"Oh, riiiiiiiiiiight! Did I ever get paid for that?"
"You lost."
"I'm alive, aren't I?"
"Believe me, with the number of eggs you took to the head that night, it's amazing you still are."
"Oh, God... *snork*"
"Nothing, just... the mental image just hit me."
"Great. Mari, remind me to kill you for this later."
"Will do."
"Ahahah.. hah.. Hey, d'you still have that costume?"
"No. I burned it. And because I love you so much, I'm not even going ask you why you asked that. You see, I'd hate to have to kill you, too."
"Oh. How touching."
"You know, *she* was Astroboy one year."
"Awwwww, really? How much hair gel did that take?"
"Enough to kill a small elephant. Goddess, are we almost ready to go yet?"
"I hope so... I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. You know a dangerous amount of secrets about Halloween's past."
"Hmmm... I think I'll sleep with a baseball bat tonight..."
"*snerk* Hey, you guys... I wonder what Kishi-san used to dress up as."
"I don't think Kishi-san was ever a kid."
"Are the children ready to go?"
"Uh!? Oh, us? Yeah, sure. We were just--- Hey, that looks pretty good on you."
"*wolf whistle*"
"Please remember that my costume is also equipped with weaponry. Now, then.."
"It's just plastic..."
"Yeah, but Kishi-san's probably the type to sharpen up a plastic knife."
"Ahem. Now then, remember to wait for the music, and when you make your entrance, Yuri, don't you forget to keep those guns up."
"But they're so heavy!"
"You only have to hold the pose for a minute while they take photos for publicity. You'll do fine."
"Alright, all of you, follow me."
"Hey, aren't you going to pose with us?"
"Certainly not."
"C'mon... It'll be great."
"Not a chance."
"Yuriko, say something.."
"Ah, Kishi-san... I was wondering about something; maybe you could help me. See, there's something written on page fifty that I just can't seem t----"
"Woah, watch it; I think she might be dangerous."
"Well, maybe someone else could help me read it. The handwriting is really awkward, but it doesn't manage to quite cover up that pict---"
"You'll have to sleep sometime, Yuriko-san."
"Alright, I'll make you a different deal... If you tell us what you were for Halloween when you were a kid, we won't make you pose with us."
"You honestly think you could--- ow!"
"Sorry. These things are just terribly awkward."
"Into the car, *now*. And you.. watch where you're sticking your swords. Mariko-san - stop laughing!!"